02
Ethan raised an eyebrow, and after a
moment, looked down at me and said my
name.
“Liv. You’re twenty–five. You haven’t seen
much yet. You’ll find someone who’s better to
you than I could be.”
My body stiffened, hearing his answer.
I think I messed things up.
I’d seen him reject other girls. Beautiful
women, crying and begging, saying how much
they liked him. He wouldn’t budge, would
even step away to create some distance,
making it very clear he wasn’t interested.
<
I thought I was special, that he treated me
differently.
I was wrong. It was just wishful thinking.
He noticed I was about to cry, and reached
out to wipe my tears like he used to. But he
stopped halfway, remembered something, and
put his hand down. Instead, he picked up his
lighter and clicked it a couple of times.
I tried one more time. “But you’ve never
dated anyone else, not for all these years.
Can’t we give it a shot? I like you, Ethan. I
really do.”
My words were jumbled.
His face went cold. I knew what that look
meant. He was getting impatient with me.
<
Then, he chuckled, a light, easy laugh. Like he
was putting the whole thing to bed.
“You’re seeing me as a boyfriend when I see
you as a buddy? Does that make any sense?” He paused. “Liv, come on. Don’t be silly.”
I was silent for a long time.
I knew it was over with us. Maybe not even
friends anymore.
I asked myself, will I ever find someone like
him? Someone who was as thoughtful, as
kind?
I buried my face in my hands and cried.
He sighed and looked at me, saying nothing,
but saying everything.
<
He waited until I was done crying and helped
me up, quickly pulling his hand back and
shoving it in his pocket.
Then, he motioned toward the two huge bags
in the living room.
“Gifts I picked up on my business trip. You
can take them.”
I looked.
They were all high–end, designer stuff, worth
more than a year of my salary.
He’d given me countless things like this
before. It was nothing to him. He always had
a reason to give me something. For a
promotion, a raise, or if I wore a pretty dress,
or the sun was just shining perfectly.
く
If I didn’t accept, he’d be upset.
After a while, I’d gotten the hang of his
moods. I started giving him gifts in return.
Hand–knitted scarves and sweaters, ties and
cuff links that took ages to pick out. He
always smiled when he got them.
My friends said, “You’re basically dating. If he
doesn’t like you, then I don’t know what to
believe.”
They were wrong. I was wrong. Ethan just
saw me as a friend.
“I don’t want them,” I said.
He nodded. “Okay.” He didn’t say anything
more.
<
As I was leaving, I glanced back at him.
He was sitting quietly on the couch, his face
unreadable, a cigarette in his hand, looking a
little sad.
Thinking about the past, I stopped.
I wanted to try again. Maybe I could take it
slow, pursue him, and show him how I felt.
What if there was a chance?
But before I could say anything, he spoke.
“You got the key to the beach house? Can
you give it back?”
I’d carried the key around for years. I had
never used it.
I had never lived there.
But I always kept it with me, just in case he
forgot his key or if something happened when
he was at the house.
Today, I finally had a reason to use it.
I don’t know how I got the key out of my bag
and placed it in front of him.
I know I probably looked like a mess.
He took the key, looked at me, paused, and then said, with disappointment, “Liv, I always
thought you were different from the other
girls.”
I stood there, feeling embarrassed and
speechless, unable to defend myself.
<
I told him that I liked him, completely
forgetting we were friends.
He had money and had been around a lot of
girls, many with the same intentions as mine.
After a while, it just became a nuisance. He
had always said he wouldn’t date his friends.
That was the only reason I was still around
him.
When I first learned about that, I wasn’t into
him, so I laughed and let it go.
But, now I realize, he had always made the
boundaries very clear. He was giving his
friendship wholeheartedly and he thought that
I was doing the same.
We appreciated each other, no romance.
く
But then he suddenly realized that wasn’t
true. I was a coward, a longtime admirer, who
had finally revealed her true self.
