Chapter 62 Saying Goodbye.
–
Lucia The acceptance letter from the University of Osin glowed on my laptop screen official letterhead stark against white background. The words blurred slightly as I read them for the hundredth time
“We are pleased to offer you admission to the Master of Public Policy programu…
My fangers traced the screen, the gesture oddly similar to how I used to touch Dante’s morning papers, smoothing invisible wrinkles while he watched with that half–smile that used to make my bean race.
Stop. No more thoughts of hum
“Mass Valenti” My assistan’s voice carried careful concem through the intercom “The movers are here for the first round of packing
Reality crashed back as 1 looked around my foundation office. Boxes waited in comers, ready to be filled with years of carefully built dreams. The youth center blueprints would need in be archived. The worker training programs transferred to new management. Everything, I’d–built here packed away or passed on while I ran in another continent.
“Send them in.” I kept my voice steady despite the ache in my chest. “And Sarah? Please coordinate with the temporary office space about furniture delivery. Hrant minimal disruption to operations during the transition.”
Always practical. Always controlled. Ed learned them from banton.
My phone buzzed with Elina’s response to my dinner invitation. She’d chosen Giovannis- the tiny talian place that used to be my favorite before designer restaurants and carefully churcographed political appearances became my world
Tll be there by seven. I texted back, ignoring how the restaurant’s name brusight memories of family dinners with the Romano sisters, of Julia’s pregnancy cravings and Sofia’s wine recommendations and Maria’s delighted discovery of real tiramisu.
Stop. No more thoughts of them either.
The new of the afternoon passed in care fully managed moments. Meetings with program directors about leadership transition Calls with Norwegian real estate agents about apartment viricings. Each task another step toward escape from this ache that threatened to commune me.
Giovanni’s hadn’t changed same checkered tablecloths, same faded photos of tralian countryside, same warmth that felt nothing like the carefull Justury I’d grown accustomed to Elina waited at our usual emer table, contemevidem beneath her perfect makeupi.
“Spill” She didn’t bother with greetings as I at “Norway? Really?”
“The program is highly ranked.” I reached for the wine she’d already ordered a smell than would have made Dante sommelier cringe. Their public policy focus aligns perfectly with my foundation’s goals.”
“Bullshit.” She studied me over the rim of her glass. This isn’t about academic ran
rankings o
or policy focus. This is about running away from him.
“I’m not running” But even heard the lie in my voice. The pursuing opportunities that
“That just happen to be on another continent?” Her perfectly shaped eyebrows rose. “Come on, Luch. I’ve known you since we were stealing cooles from your father’s kachen. Talk to me. What really happened?“
The truth spilled out before I could stop it the fight in his office, my confession of love, his devastating silence. Each word feh like reopening wounds as I described watching the man loved choose.comtrol over emotion once again.
“Oh, honey.” Elina reached across the table to squeeze my hand. “Tim so sorry.”
“Don’t.” I pulled away, needing distance before 1 shattered completely. I knew what he was from the beginning. Everything in his life is carefully calculated Love doesn’t fit into neat boxes or contract terms.”
“Neither do you.” She signaled for more wine. “Maybe that’s what scares him so much,”
“It doesn’t matter what scares him.” E stared into my glass, watching red liquid catch light like blood. “I can’t keep letting my heart break watching him reduce everything to business advantage. I won’t survive it.
*So you run to Norway?” Her voice softened with genuine concens “Leave everything you’ve built here! Your foundation, your family, your
“My what?” Bitterbughter escaped me, “My carefully arranged political marriage! My contract husband who can’t even admit he feels anything beyond tactical convenience!”
“I’ve seen how he looks at you.” She leaned forward, intensity breaking through her usual casual grace. “When he thinks no one’s watching. That’s not tactical anything, honey. That’s a man terrified of losing something precious”
“Stop” The word came out sharper dan intended. “Please, I can’t, I can’t hope anymore. Can’t keep watching for cracks in his perfect control only to love Jam rebuild walls higher rach time.”
Understanding filled her eyes as she studied my face. “You really love him, don’t you?”
“So much it’s killing me. The admission felt like glass in my throat, “Than’s why I have to go. Because loving someone who doesn’t know how in back it destroys you piece by piere
Love
Silence stretched between un as the waiter brouglat our usual orders – her carbonara, my penne arralshata that suddenly reminded me too much of Roman family dinners.
“When do you leave? She asked finally.
“Three weeks” I pushed pasta around my plate without rating “The fall semester stans in August, but I need to settle in before classes begin”
1007
Chapter 62 – Saying Goodbye
“And the foundation?”
“Sarah’s handling the transition.” I forced myself to take a bite, tasting nothing. The board approved remporary leadership The youth center project will continue under Marco’s oversighs.”
a structure until I return
“Such a perfect plan. Her voice tried careful neutrality. “Every detail arranged, every contingency considered. Almost like someone else I
“Don’t.” I set down my fork with careful control. “Don’t try to draw parallels between us. This isn’t about control or careful planning. This is about survival.”
She studied me for a long momem before nodding slowly. “Okay. Then tell me • what you need. How can I help?
The simple offer of suppon finally cracked something in my careful composure. Tears burned behind my eyes as I looked at my oldest friend. “Just… he here!” My voice shook slightly. I can handle the practical details. The packing and planning and program preparation. But saying goodbye to everything I’ve bush here.
“Oh tesoro.” She moved around the table to pull me into a fierce hug, designer dress be damned. I’ve got you. Whatever you need. Even if it’s just someone to drink wine with while you pretend not to cry into very expensive pasta”
A laugh that was half sob escaped me as I leaned into her embrace. “When did you get so wear?”
“Please” She pulled back to wipe tears from my cheeks with careful precision. “Ive always been the brams of this operation. You just finally
The rest of dinner p
passed in gentler conversation – her sharing gossip about mutual friends while carefully avoiding any mention of the Romanos, ine pretending to cat while she pretended not to notice how little actually made it to my mouth.
Finally, as the restaurant emptied around us, she caught my hand across the table. “Are you sure about this! Really sure?”
“No“The ith slipped out before I could stop it. “But I’m sure I can’t stay. Can’t keep watching him maintain perfect distance while my heart breaks a litle more each day.
Understanding filled her eyes as she squeezed my flogers. Then I help you park. Drive you to the airport. Whatever you need, just… promise me something!
“What?
“Don’t close your heart completely. Her voice carried rare seriousness. “Don’t let his inability to adnut feelings make you stop believing in love entirely. You deserve bener than that”
Tears threatened again as I nodded. “Tiltry. Though right now it feels impossible to imagine ever loving anyone else
“I know, honey” She signaled for the check with practiced elegance. “But sometimes the shangs worths having are the ones that feel impossible ar
The drive home passed in careful silence, city lights blurring past like fallen stars. My apartment felt cold and empty after months of living in Dante’s carefully curated world. No fresh flowers arranged with military precision. No expensive coffee waiting in precisely calibrated machines. No subabe warmths of sandalwood cologne lingering in the air.
Just quiet. And boxes waiting to be packed. And the echo of everything I was leaving behind.
My phone buzzed with another university email – housing information, dass registration details, all the practical aspects of my carefully planned escape I should review them, stari organizing the next steps in this march toward freedom from carefully negotiated emotion.
Instead, I found myself on my balcony, staring at the city lights spread below like a kingdom. Somewhere out there. Dante was probably in his office,– maintaining perfect control while courdinating his political ascension. Everything in its proper place, every cination carefully comained every relationship reduced to tactical advantage.
drown
While I stood here with a heart so full of love it felt like drowning.
“Goodbye, Dine” I whispered to the night air, leuing tears finally fall freely.
Even if that something couldn’t be me.
Time to stan parking up more dian just physical belongings. Time to carefully wrap each memory in bubble wrap and pack it away where it couldn’t hun anymore.
Time to say goodbye to everything Fd built here – including the foolish dream that love might be enough in crack perfectly maintained control
Norway beckoned like promise of exspe from this ache that threatened to constine me,
I just had to survive three more weeks of carefully managed goodbyes first.
