After I gave up treatment
Chapter 1
I have a hereditary form of amnesia that skips generations. By the time they diagnosed me, I had only seven days left before everything would slip away.
On the first day, my boyfriend confessed he’d fallen for my sister. I forced a smile and broke things off.
On the second day, my sister smashed my prized LEGO collection. Everyone laughed, saying I was an embarrassment who didn’t deserve to be a Miller.
By the fourth day, I’d forgotten my sister was allergic to mangoes and accidentally sent her to the hospital. My parents couldn’t even look at me, and my ex called me a heartless bitch.
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On the seventh day, I woke up in a hospital bed to find my father storming in, demanding I quit my job to become the family’s full–time caretaker.
I just stared at them all, confused. “Who are you people?” I asked softly.
When they realized I genuinely couldn’t remember anything, the whole family lost their minds.
*****
Harris: [Ms. Miller, are you continuing your treatment? Don’t
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forget to pick up your prescription if you are.]
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Harris: [Ms. Miller, your condition is serious. Stopping medication will cause side effects. You absolutely cannot
abandon treatment or you’ll lose all your memories within eight days.]
I stared at Doctor Harris Clark’s messages for the longest time, my fingers hovering over the keyboard. In the end, I didn’t reply.
Maybe getting amnesia wasn’t the worst thing that could happen to me. I’d been alive for years, and honestly? There wasn’t a single memory in my head worth fighting to keep.
I stared at Harris‘ earnest message on my screen for what felt like forever before slowly typing back: [Thanks, Dr. Clark, but I’ve already decided to give up.]
After turning off my phone, I glanced at the calendar.
Today marked six years since James Davenport and I had started dating.
I’d been planning his anniversary gift for a whole month. A tie seemed too basic, shoes too impersonal. After endless deliberation, I’d dipped into my secret savings to buy him an expensive handcrafted watch.
James worked at a Fortune 500 company where he constantly rubbed shoulders with loaded bigwigs. He needed something to help him look the part.
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3/6
Plus, I didn’t want my memory loss condition to drag him down anymore, so I’d decided to break up with him face–to–face.
But when I arrived at the restaurant we’d agreed on, James was nowhere to be seen. I waited until the water in my glass turned cold before I finally spotted him rushing in, looking totally frazzled.
“Feona, I’m so sorry! The office suddenly needed me to work late. I got here as fast as I could.”
I took in his disheveled appearance and couldn’t miss the hint of a hickey pecking out from his collar. Something in my brain just snapped.
“You-” I started to say, but before I could finish, James wiped the sweat from his forehead and handed me a small box, smiling warmly. “This is for you. Thanks for sticking with me these past six years.”
I just stared at the box he handed me, feeling nothing—no excitement, no happiness.
When I opened it, there was a gorgeous bracelet nestled inside. It looked incredibly expensive, with an intricately carved peony flower that seemed almost alive.
All these little details suddenly clicked together in my mind like puzzle pieces, and I understood everything in an instant.
I didn’t like peonies–my sister Tracy Miller did.
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4/6
The scales had started tipping in my sister’s favor three months ago when I first introduced her to James.
Since then, everything had changed. He stopped caring about my feelings, from buying extra gifts that weren’t for me, to constantly bringing up Tracy’s name during our dates, and finally to leaving me behind while he walked side by side with her, laughing together.
When exactly had he started falling for her instead?
I’d been quiet too long. James looked at me nervously and asked, “What’s wrong? Don’t you like it?”
I forced a bitter smile onto my face. “James, let’s break up,” I said, my voice ice cold.
James froze, his eyes filling with disbelief before he jumped to his feet in anger. “What the hell is that supposed to mean? What now?” he snapped, words rushing out.
“Weren’t you the one crying about how nobody cared about you or remembered your special days? Weren’t you begging me to celebrate our anniversary together? And now what? You’re already bored of me?
“I should’ve listened to your sister. I shouldn’t have wasted my time planning all these surprises for you! No wonder your family prefers Tracy–you don’t even come close to measuring up to her!”
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5/6
His words came out like bullets as he slammed his glass down on the table, still breathing hard after his angry tirade.
I stared into James‘ eyes, frozen in place.
So this was what he looked like when he lost his cool–just another angry guy with a temper, no different from anyone else.
“James,” I said quietly, “was your big surprise really just giving me the same gift Tracy wanted?”
He froze, his head snapping up to look at me with the most complicated expression I’d ever seen on his face. His eyes couldn’t meet mine.
“So you’re breaking up with me because you don’t like the gift?” he stammered. “If you didn’t like it, you could’ve just said so instead of making this huge deal out of nothing.”
He nervously grabbed the box back and stuffed it into the shopping bag like it was evidence he needed to hide. “I can get you something else, no problem. And we can just pretend you never mentioned breaking up.
“You’re too old to be playing games with your future like this.”
I watched his guilty eyes and obvious attempt to cover up. Something inside me was crumbling away.
On the very day I’d decided to stop my treatment, I’d been worried about how James would feel about my memory loss. I wanted to be honest with him, to wish him happiness.
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6/6
But he hadn’t even noticed anything weird about me these past few days. His mind was already half–occupied with that girl he’d only known for three months. He was barely present when talking to me.
Did someone like that really deserve my consideration anymore?
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