Chapter 66- Control and Loss
Dante Security cameras provided perfect coverage of Terminal A. High–definition feeds showed every angle, every movement, every moment of her departure in crisp digital clammy. My phone could have accessed any view I wanted.
I watched from behind a pillar ilead, like some pathetic stalker rather than the mayor of this cay.
The morning light caught her hour as she hugged Elina goodbye. Even from this distance, I could see her scanning the terminal, each sweep of those beautiful eyes another knife in my chest. Looking for me. Hoping for me.
Finding nothing.
My hands clenched as she moved through check in. One word. That’s all it would take. One moment of surrendering control to stop her from walking away forever
I remained silent.
Security checkpoint next. She paused again, tension visilile in every line of her body as she searched the terminal one last time. Her fingers trembled slightly as she handed over her passport.
Step forward Say something. Anything
1 stayed frozen in my carefully chosen observation point, watching the woman I loved slip away one excruciating step at a time.
“Sir‘” Taylor’s voice carried quietly through my earpiece. The council meeting starts in forty minutes.”
Lignored him, my eyes fixed on her progress through the terminal. The way her shoulders straightened with practiced dignity despite the pain evident in every movement. The grace she maintained even while breaking both our hearts.
“The zoning committee needs your
ir sign–off on the theater district restoration,” he continued after a momen. “And the education funding.
allocation-
“Not now.” The words came our rougher than intended.
Silence fell as she reached her gate. Two hours unta departure. Two hours to find the courage to shatter my own walls.
I stood there like a coward, watching minutes tick away while she wased. Hoping. Each sweep of her eyes across the terminal another chance I
refused to take
“Final boarding call for Norwegian Airlines flight 447 to Oslo
The announcement hit like physical pain. My fees moved without conscious thought, one step toward her before iron control snapped back into
place,
No.
She deserved better than a man who couldn’t admit his own bean. Deserved soncone who could give her more than careful calculation and
measured respon
Deserved freedom from the cage Id built around both our lives.
So I watched her board. Watched the jet bridge door close with terrible finality. Watched her plane tasi away, canying my heart into morning sky.
Only when the aircraft disappeared into clouds did I move, every step feeling like lead as I walked to the waiting car.
“City Hall,” I told Martinez, my voice perfectly steady despite the war in my chest.
The drive passed in careful silence as I reviewed briefing documents with mechanical precision. Budget allocations. Zoning permits. Infrastructure proposals. Each page a fortress against feeling, each decision another brick in walls I’d built too high to scale.
My assistant jumped when I entered the office, nearly dropping her coffee. “Mr. Romanol The council meeting
“Reschedule it.” I moved past her into my pravate office, already reaching for the city planning files. “Clear my calendar for the next forty–eight
hour
“But air, the press conference-”
I didn’t look up from the blueprints spreading across my desk. “No interruptions unless the city’s burning.”
The door closed softly behind her as I immersed myself in carefully ordered work. Precise measurements. Clean lines Mathematical certainty
instead of messy emotion.
Hours blurred together as I cruis referenced zoning regulations and historical preservation codes. The theater district restoration expanded under
my
my hands, each detail a monument to the dreams she’d shared in quiet moments.
“Sir?” My assistant’s voice carried hesitantly through the intercam at whitt might have been midnight. “You should eat something.”
Lignored her, Jocusing on infrastructure grids and traffic patterns. The youth center’s new wing took shape in careful calculations, each
measurement exact, each detail perfect.
Just like she would have designed in
“The contractors need approval on the community clinic renovations,” Taylor reported at some point, his usual stoicism tinged with concern. “Anil
the education committee-
apter on–Control and Loss
“Approved.” I handed him a stack of signed documents without looking up from property acquisition analyses. “All of it. Whatever finding they
need
Dawn crept through windows I hadn’t noticed darkening as 1 refined plans for the arts education initiative. The our she’d Late–night conversations I’d pretended not to memorize.
he’d mentioned wanting during
“Mr. Romano.” My assistants voice carried carefully measured worry. “You’ve been working for twenty–six hours straight.”
Had it been that long Time meant nothing compared to the need to keep moving, keep planning, keep controlling everything except the emotions threatening to break through carefully maintained walls
“The harbor development proposals—*
“Can wait.” She annually unplugged my laptop, something unprecedented in three years of careful professional distance. “You need rest,”
“What I need.” I sad with deadly calm, “is to finish these projects.”
“These projects will still be here after you sleep. Her voice softened slightly. She wouldn’t want
“Don’t.” The word came out sharper than intended “Just don’t.”
Understanding filled her eyes, making something twist painfully in my chest. “At least eat something. Please.”
1 turned back to the blueprints, ignoring how the lines blurred slightly. “One hour. Then I need the environmental impact studies for the waterfront
restorationy
She nodded, withdrawing with careful discretion that spoke of years managing my careful control. The door closed softly behind her, leaving me alone with papers and plans and perfectly ordered chaos.
My phone buzzed. Marco Valentini
“You’re an idiot,” he said without preamble when I answered.
“Imaware. My voice remained steady despite the truth in his words.
“She loved you.” The past tense felt like knives. “Actually loved your
Tknow.” The admission tasted like ash.
Then why didn’t you stop her? Real anger colored his voce now. “Why didn’t you say something? Anything?”
Because I’m a coward Because I don’t deserve her. Because loving someone means being vulnerable and I don’t know how to be anything but perfectly controlled.
“The theater district restoration starts next werk,” I said instead. “Your family’s construction company should review the contracts.”
He swore in
are in creative Italian. “You really are determined to destroy everything good in your life, aren’t you?”
The truth of his words hit harder than expected. Lended the call without responding, turning back to carefully ordered papers that couldn’t fill the void she’d let
Hours blurred together again as I refined plans and signed documents and reshaped the city around memories I couldn’t escape. The sun rose and set and rose again as projects expanded under my hands.
A children’s wing for the downtown library she’d mentioned wanting one during a cl
gacharity gala.
Restoration of the historic carousel in Victory Park – she’d smiled every time we drove past
Community art spaces in underprivileged neighborhoods- she’d dreamed of them during late–night conversations Ed pretended not to treasure.
Every project a monument to dreams she’d shared in quiet moments. Every detail a carefully constructed tribute to the heart. I’d been too afraid to
“The city plam are ready for final approval.” Taylor’s voice barely registered through the haze of exhaustion and careful control “All seventeen new
“Send them to the council,” I said quietly, staring at blueprints that blurred slightly in the pre–dawn light. “Priority status.
need”
He hesitated, something almost like sympathy crossing his professional facade. “Sir… perhaps you should-
“Just do it.” My voice carried deadly calm.
Ti amo.
