We stared at each other, a silent battle of wills. I sighed and pulled a stack of medical documents from my bag. “I’m pregnant, Ethan.” He froze, the mask cracking.
Ethan snatched the papers, his fingers tracing the blurry ultrasound image, trembling slightly. It was strange. He liked the idea of children, but he wasn’t particularly involved with Evan. Men. Whatever. “Sign the papers, Ethan,” I said calmly. “I’ll have the baby… after the divorce is finalized.”
He looked up, frowning, about to speak. I held his gaze. “My health isn’t great. You saw what happened with Evan. Don’t put me through that again, please.”
He fell silent. After a long moment, he picked
up the pen and signed. I was prepared. That
afternoon, before he could change his mind, I
made him go with me to finalize the divorce.
Holding the certificate in my hand, I felt a wave
<
9:42
of relief. Free.
85
Outside the courthouse, he tried to take me home. I refused. He frowned. “You’re pregnant, Ally. You shouldn’t be alone. We have staff, the nutritionist…”
I held up the divorce certificate. He glanced at my stomach and shut up. But he couldn’t resist asking, “When will you come back?”
I knew what he was thinking. I was pregnant, so he had to play along for now. Once the baby was born, he’d find a way to remarry me. He didn’t believe we were really over. I’d let him figure it out.
My cab arrived. I got in, amused by Ethan’s frustrated attempts to stop me. He was always attentive during my pregnancies, apologetic after my disappointments, generous only after I’d given him everything. Like showing me
kindness required a condition.
For my own peace of mind, I gave him one final
warning. “Keep Evan away from me. And stay
away yourself.”
I told the driver to go, leaving Ethan standing
<
9:42
there,脸色难看的.
85
Ashley and I had already booked our flights. She whooped and popped open a bottle of wine when I told her the good news. The next day, we embarked on a cross–country road trip. We took Alex to see the wild horses of the Outer Banks, the fall foliage in New England, the first snowfall in Central Park, the vibrant streets of New Orleans…
Alex, thankfully, was a trooper, enthusiastic about everything, a perfect travel companion. I felt alive again, traveling with my best friend, exploring all the places we’d dreamed of in our youth. It was like the part of me that had died at seventeen, trapped in that hospital bed, had finally woken up, ten years later.
The trip wasn’t entirely without complications. Ethan blew up my phone. I wasn’t pregnant. It was a lie.
Ethan was furious when he found out. He
almost flew to Asheville to confront me. But I’d simply asked, “We’re divorced, Ethan. Can’t you let me go?” That stopped him. He and Evan
9:42
85
く
were alike
–
proud, egotistical. I’d lied, I’d
tricked him, just to get away. Chasing after me
would be humiliating.
So he stopped calling. Just like our previous fights. But this time, I wasn’t waiting at home, obsessing over him, eventually breaking down and apologizing. This time, I was happy. Free from domestic drudgery, I embraced the world, and the world embraced me back. I had nothing
left to be sad about.
A year later, when Alex was ready to start school, Ashley and I ended our adventure. The day I returned to my apartment, there was an expensive car parked downstairs. Ethan was leaning against it, staring up at my window. He looked out of place in the modest
neighborhood, drawing stares and whispers
from the neighbors.
I ignored him, unpacking, eating, showering. When night fell, he was still there, a solitary
figure under the streetlight. I sighed and went
down to see him.
He straightened when he saw me, his eyes
85)
<
drinking me in. He saw that I’d thrived without him, and a flicker of sadness crossed his face. But he quickly smiled. “Ally, come home. Evan’s been a mess since you left. He won’t stop
crying, his grades are slipping, he keeps asking for you…
I remained impassive. His voice softened. The wind rustled the leaves in the trees above us.
He finally dropped the pretense. “I miss you. I’m sorry.”
I laughed. “You have a lot to be sorry for, Ethan. Which part are you apologizing for?” His eyes lit up. He stepped closer. “I never cheated on you, Ally. Not physically, not emotionally. You know how I am. I just… I
needed to know you cared. I’m sorry about your
mom. I’m sorry I neglected you, I’m sorry I hurt you…‘
He rambled on, telling me how much he’d missed me, how much he’d regretted his
actions. I didn’t need to hear it. “See, Ethan?
You’ve been fine without me. You don’t need
- me. You’re just used to me. You’re just…
<
9:42
lonely.”
His eyes filled with tears. He shook his head,
but I asked, “Why don’t you ask me that
question anymore?”
85
His lips trembled, his expression almost fearful. He wouldn’t ask. So I sighed and answered for him. “I loved you, Ethan. What else do you think kept me with you for so long? If it was just about the debt, I could have left after Evan was born, after you joined the company.”
دو
A watery smile appeared on his face. Tears streamed down his cheeks. He reached for me, but I held him back, taking a step away. “But
that’s over now, Ethan. I’ve moved on. You should too.”
He couldn’t let go. He pulled me into a tight embrace, his arms almost crushing me, tears soaking my shirt, muttering denials. He wouldn’t accept that I didn’t love him anymore. He
pleaded with me, dredging up memories of our
past.
I gently pried his arms loose and pushed him
away. I turned and walked back upstairs.
く
away. I turned and walked back upstairs.
That night, Ethan cried so loudly in the street
that the neighbors called the police. The next
day, he was back, asleep in his car, his eyes
swollen. The day after that, I had a successful
online interview with a large company. I packed
my bags and left while he was still asleep.
He showed up at my new office a few times,
desperate, pathetic. He knew how to hurt me,
and I knew how to hurt him back. Eventually, he
stopped coming.
But then Ashley called, disgusted. Ethan, or
sometimes Evan, kept letting themselves into
my old apartment. I’d forgotten to change the
locks.
I was silent for a moment. “It’s fine,” I said
finally. “They’ll stop eventually.”
I wouldn’t go back until they did. My life had
started over. This time, I was moving forward,
not looking back.
