Shouldn’t he be happy if I died?
So why did his voice sound so full of pain?
Maybe this was just a hallucination, the kind you get right before death.
Was I really that fixated on him?
Scenes from the past began flashing through my mind, like someone had cracked open the pages of an old diary.
I was fifteen when we first met.
Back then, he was small and scrawny, bruised all over, lying in a filthy drainage ditch.
His backpack had been torn open, and books were scattered everywhere.
I helped him up and asked if someone had been bullying him.
He pushed me away and told me to mind my own business.
But his attempt to act tough just made me laugh.
I called the police.
Apparently, a group of local delinquents who hung around near the school had targeted him because he was always alone and looked like an easy victim.
He was proud, though, and stubborn.
He raised a bruised fist and warned me not to tell anyone.
That was the moment the seed of love was planted.
But I never saw him again.
I found out what class he was in and sent him a note with my name on it, hoping for a reply.
But there was nothing.
Later, I learned he had transferred to another school.
So I buried those feelings deep in my heart.
The next time I saw him was years later, in college.
I recognized him the moment I laid eyes on him.
But he didn’t remember me at all.
I still remembered the way he had warned me to stay out of his business all those years ago, so I didn’t dare tell him who I was.
Instead, I introduced myself like we were meeting for the first time.
I confessed my feelings to him.
I followed him everywhere, always looking out for him, always trying to catch his attention.
thoped, foolishly, that one day he would remember me.
9:50 AM
<
But life isn’t a romantic movie.
He never did.
He was distant, cold, and indifferent.
And yet, I couldn’t help but love the way he carried himself, so calm and detached.
He didn’t push me away, but he didn’t welcome me either.
I convinced myself that if I stayed by his side long enough, I could warm his heart.
Then Cassidy came along.
She shattered the delicate balance between us.
All of Lucas’s tenderness, the side of him I had never seen, was reserved for her.
I once asked him, “Why can’t it be me?”
He told me Cassidy had been the light in the darkest moment of his life.
I didn’t understand what he meant.
Just like I could never understand his heart.
Cassidy always found ways to make trouble for me, subtle and not–so–subtle.
And Lucas always let her.
Three years ago, Cassidy had an accident.
She broke her leg while skiing.
Her bindings had come loose.
Everyone believed I had sabotaged her equipment.
I couldn’t defend myself; no one would listen.
Cassidy was beloved by everyone, and I was the only one who disliked her.
Lucas brought me to my knees with a paternity test.
He stripped me of everything and sent me to live with my biological father.
That man–a gambling addict and a monster–did unspeakable things to me.
Lucas must have known. He had to.
He wanted me to suffer.
He wanted me to feel like I was better off dead.
To him, it was justice for hurting Cassidy.
Looking back now, what was left of this man for me to hold on to?
11
It felt like I had been asleep for an eternity.
So long that my entire body had grown stiff.
9:50 AM
<
When I opened my eyes, I found myself in the ICU.
There was a tube down my throat, and the room was filled with machines monitoring my every breath.
Why was I still alive?
I tried to move my cracked, dry lips, but no sound came out.
What I never expected was that the first person I’d see after waking up would be Cassidy.
She was wearing a white coat, a mask, and a surgical cap.
But I recognized her immediately.
Every alarm in my mind went off.
What was she planning to do?
“You’re tough to kill, aren’t you?” she sneered, her voice dripping with malice.
Her sharp nails grazed my cheek, leaving a faint sting.
“Lucas is mine. Why do you keep trying to steal him from me?”
Her eyes burned with manic rage.
“Do you have any idea what you’ve done? Because of you, he left me standing alone at the altar! Do you know how humiliating that was? Everyone was laughing at me. And it’s all your fault!”
