(1)
Before I could process what was happening, Felix sent me a message: “So, what do you think? Isn’t my girlfriend pretty?”
Each word felt like a knife twisting in my heart.
My hands were shaking so much I could barely see the screen through my blurred vision.
He must have grown impatient waiting for a response because he sent another message: “My girlfriend knows we’re close. I don’t want her to get the wrong idea, so maybe don’t come find me for a while.”
I read his messages over and over, then threw my phone aside and burst into tears.
All these years, everyone knew I loved Felix. Everyone except Felix himself.
He always thought I was just his best friend.
His family without the blood ties.
In this world, if we’re talking about who knows Felix Harper best, I, Claire Bennett, would say I’m second to none.
I know he likes his egg pancakes without green onions, his beef noodles without cilantro, his winter hoodies without hoods, and that his sneakers are half a size bigger than his regular shoes.
I’ve made all his literature notes since we were kids, and when he first started college, I bought him his first set of formal wear.
I used to be so proud of how much space I occupied in Felix’s life.
I thought no other girl could leave as many traces in his life as I had.
I thought there was just one small step left between us.
One opportunity that would make it all fall into place naturally.
But I never got that opportunity. Instead, I got the fact that Felix now had a girlfriend.
He kept chattering away on SnapChat, telling me how great his new girlfriend was. How she surprisingly liked green onions and cilantro, and
now he liked them too because she did.
He shared pictures of the hooded sweatshirt she bought him, saying he loved it so much he’d wear it every day. He even mentioned how cute it was that she bought him sneakers that were too small.
Every word felt like it was erasing my past.
Finally, he sent me one last message, “My girlfriend says if you could bring us some condoms, she’d believe we’re just friends. Claire, hurry and bring them over!”
He attached the address of a hotel.
His audacity with me was entirely my own doing.
Since childhood, I’d always given him whatever he wanted. If he asked for the stars, I’d have built a ladder to fetch them for him. Even his mom said there wasn’t another person in this world who’d be as good to him as I was.
It was precisely because I was so good to him that he took such liberties.
He took me for granted.
I wiped away my tears and actually went. When I arrived, he was already impatiently waiting.
As soon as he opened the door, he snatched the condoms from my hand, giving me a dirty look: “Claire, what took you so long? My girlfriend
almost got suspicious!”
<
He didn’t even give me a chance to speak before slamming the door shut.
Before the door closed, I caught a glimpse of the girl. She was wrapped in a towel, her hair loose, water droplets still clinging to her skin.
I saw Felix eagerly walking towards her, about to embrace her…
Tears streamed down my face uncontrollably. I didn’t want to look so pathetic in front of Felix, so I tried to cover my mouth, but I still couldn’t hold back a sob.
Suddenly, I felt like a complete joke.
I wiped away my tears and tried to message him in as calm a tone as I could muster: “Felix, I won’t bother you anymore.”
After sending it, I blocked him.
Felix and I had known each other since we were in diapers. After more than twenty years, there were too many memories. Just the photos of us together took up over 30GB of my phone’s storage.
I deleted them all. Not just that, I even deleted all those childish photos we’d taken together years ago from my social media accounts.
I made up my mind. From today on, I would no longer love Felix Harper.
