Mom ended with that.
I looked up, hope flickering in my chest.
Could I really escape that camp?
I promised, “I swear, I won’t go near any
boys.”
I meant it.
Now, just seeing a guy made me sick.
My heart would race, I couldn’t breathe, I’d
start shaking.
Mom seemed a little relieved.
She nodded.
“Study hard these next few days. It all
depends on you.”
(You skipped 5 in your original!)
I stayed in my room, glued to my desk,
studying.
I didn’t talk to any of my friends.
Mom watched me on the security camera.
She smiled, finally pleased.
She patted my shoulder.
“Looks like that place did some good.”
く
“If I’d known it would work this well, I would
have sent you there sooner.”
I didn’t say anything, just smiled back, trying
to please her.
The next day, she took me to enroll in school.
On my first day back, I stood at the school
gates, backpack slung over my shoulder.
My feet felt like they were cemented to the
ground.
There were too many guys here.
I felt dizzy, couldn’t get enough air.
“What are you waiting for?” Mom snapped.
“Want to go back to camp?”
Hearing those words, I recoiled.
I forgot where I was.
“No!” I screamed.
Everyone stared.
Mom jumped back, frowning.
“Enough. If you don’t want to go, get to
class.”
I had one thought.
Never go back to that hellhole!
Ignoring the stares, I bolted into school.
I found my classroom, my assigned desk.
く
My deskmate was a guy.
I scooted as far away as I could.
All day, I kept my head down, reading.
I didn’t look at any boys, didn’t talk to anyone.
At the end of the day, my deskmate stopped
- me.
“Hey, do you have something against me?”
His voice was soft, but it still made me panic.
I shook my head, pushed past him, and ran.
I didn’t hear him calling after me.
I kept my head down on the way home too.
く
Too many men on the street.
I knew it wasn’t healthy, but I couldn’t control
- it.
I was walking through a deserted patch of
woods when someone grabbed me.
- 7.
I spun around.
A group of girls with rainbow hair, smoking
cigarettes.
“So, you’re the freak who sits next to my man
in class? And you turned him down?”
I instinctively denied it.
“I didn’t…”
They laughed and shoved me into the woods.
They circled me.
Insults, taunts, punches, and kicks.
“If you tell your parents, we’ll kill you!”
They laughed and walked away.
After they were gone, I stood up.
What did a few bruises matter?
I didn’t care anymore.
I reached my front door, pulled out my key.
Г
The small key felt heavy, like it was burning a
hole in my hand.
I opened the door.
Mom smiled.
“How was school?”
She looked me up and down, frowning.
“Why are you so dirty?”
I forced a smile.
“I tripped on the way home.”
She gave me a look, but didn’t push it.
<
She just told me to change.
I breathed a sigh of relief.
At dinner, I found my voice.
“Mom, I’d like to switch desks. I’m sitting next
to a boy.”
Mom looked thrilled.
“That’s the spirit. You should focus on your
studies, not hanging out with boys.”
“I’ll talk to your teacher tomorrow.”
I managed a weak thank you.
Mom sighed.
“Since you got back, you haven’t been the
same with your dad and me…”
I didn’t answer.
I just ate my food slowly, trying to act normal.
I was so tired.
Maybe I was the problem.
Why couldn’t I ever make my parents happy?
I lay in bed.
It was late.
The lights outside went out one by one.
But my brain was wide awake.
I didn’t want to fall asleep.
Every time I closed my eyes, I saw the camp.
It was always the same.
So, I stared at the ceiling until morning.
- 8.
After switching desks, I went to school every
day.
There were still plenty of guys around, and I
was still on edge.
I didn’t talk to anyone.
