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A buzzing noise jolted me from my thoughts–a notification that my insurance payout from the accident had finally come in. I’d thought the accident would be a distant memory over time, but closing my eyes brought everything back as if it had just happened.
It was pouring rain that night, and Lucas and I were driving on the highway when he took a call. I could hear the voice on the other end clearly:
“Mr. Blake, we’ve got a group of debt collectors causing trouble at the Wynn residence. They’re harassing Miss Wynn.”
Lucas shot a quick glance my way.
I knew he wasn’t asking for my opinion–he was telling me he intended to go to Annie’s. I was silent as he turned onto the road that led us farther from home and closer to the Wynn residence.
“Just drop me at the next rest area. I’ll get a cab,” I told him softly.
Once I got out, even with an umbrella, I was soaked within seconds. Lucas sped off in his black Bentley, splashing water in my face as he disappeared. That was when I felt it–the rusted–out feeling of love, washed clean in the rain.
The old taxi I’d hailed started slipping on the slick highway. When the car spun out, my heart lurched, and I instinctively tightened the seatbelt across my chest. My mind blanked, but my pulse hammered in my ears.
With a deafening crash, my head slammed against the window. For a brief, stretched–out moment, time seemed to slow down, and my life unspooled
before me–all of it tied to Lucas.
04 18%
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At ten, my parents had stretched their finances to buy a house in New York’s wealthiest neighborhood. They’d encouraged me to get close to Lucas, their “little prince of the city.” I was enchanted by his good looks and followed him around for seven years.
At seventeen, I realized I was in love with him, though he despised me. I spent a year pining after him, enduring insults from his social circle as they mocked me for my “pathetic crush.” I’d hear whispers of “the clown girl,” echoing wherever I went.
At eighteen, Lucas met Annie. I watched him fall head over heels and later fall into despair when she left.
At twenty–one, he’d gotten drunk and pulled me close, kissing me passionately. But he kept murmuring Annie’s name between kisses. I should have pushed him away, slapped him even. But my father’s business was struggling, and our family needed money. And–well, being with Lucas was something both my parents and I had long wished for. So I let him hold me, enduring each time he’d say her name while he held me.
When his grandfather found out, he’d insisted Lucas marry me to protect the family’s reputation. And I got my wish–I married Lucas Blake.
At twenty–two, I was pregnant. The baby gave me terrible morning sickness, and labor was a nightmare.
23:09 Fri, Oct 18
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Memories–painful, knotted memories.
When I woke up, I was lying in the hospital, every part of me sore and my
head splitting.
Now, at twenty–seven, my son was calling another woman “Mom,” and my husband didn’t seem to care. I pretended to be unfazed, but each moment felt like a thousand tiny cuts, reminding me of the reality I was clinging to. The people I couldn’t bear to lose were eagerly waiting for me to leave.
Maybe happiness was never meant to be mine.
“Would you ever lash out at someone you loved?” I wanted to ask Lucas and Evan that question. But I already knew the answer from the way they looked at Annie. Lucas had fallen in love with her the moment they met. Evan, too, had taken to her instantly, showing affection he’d never shown for anyone else.
People become fixated on their first choice, the thing they fell for at first sight. Evan was more and more like his father each day, from his looks to his habits, even his temperament. They both adored Annie.
I never considered Annie the “other woman.” From the beginning, it was I who had taken what was hers.
They say pain comes from chasing the wrong things.
This marriage was over. It was time to return Lucas and Evan to Annie.
