05
Back home, I cranked up the AC, flopped onto the couch, and queued up my favorite TV show. I happily dug into my pastries and durian, savoring every bite.
Mid–episode, my tablet suddenly started buffering.
What’s going on? My Wi–Fi is usually perfect–it’s not like anyone else is using it.
Then I remembered. Three months ago, Martha had come to me, flustered and pleading.
“Hey, you’re good with phones, right? Mine was working fine yesterday, but now I can’t make calls.”
“Sure, let me see,” I said, taking the phone.
Turned out she’d gone over her data limit, and her service was suspended.
I explained this to her, but she scoffed. “How could I use up a whole gigabyte in one day?”
“Speeds are faster now, so it gets used up quickly,” I explained patiently. “Tell you what–I’ll let you connect to my Wi–Fi so you don’t have to worry about overages.”
I’d forgotten all about it until now. Curious, I checked my router’s connection list. Six devices.
Her entire family had been leeching off my Wi–Fi this whole time! No wonder my streaming was lagging.
I changed the password immediately. My connection sped right back up.
The next morning, on my way to work, Martha stopped me. Her expression was sour, and her tone sharper than usual.
“Why can’t I use your Wi–Fi anymore?”
“I changed the password,” I said casually.
“You didn’t even tell me! Do you realize how much data I used last night because of you? My phone bill went up by $80!”
I stared at her, baffled. “You know it’s my Wi–Fi, right? Why would I need to notify you? How entitled can you be?”
“Just give me the new password. And you better compensate me for the bill! It’s your fault for not warning me!”
“Lady,” I said, my patience gone, “you’ve got a mouthful of crap, and you’re spewing it everywhere. Go rinse it out before talking to me again.”
Her eyes flared with fury, but all she could do was stammer. “You… you…”
“What about me?” I snapped. “My parents can’t go back in time to fix you, but maybe you can get yourself rebuilt from scratch.”
Her face turned redder than a fire hydrant as she stomped her feet, her finger jabbing the air toward me.
“You selfish little witch! You’ll get what’s coming to you! You’re cruel, heartless, and disrespectful to elders. You’ll die alone, and karma will destroy you!”
She plopped onto the ground, wailing dramatically, refusing to get up.
I stood there coolly, watching her tantrum. “By the way, there’s spinach in your teeth, and someone spat gum on the ground near you.” Then I walked away.
6:24 PM
<
Σ
As I turned the corner, I heard her screech, “You tricked me!” but I was already gone.
Later, she showed up at my office again. This time, I’d prepped the security guard downstairs, warning him
circumstances.
