Chapter21
The night after homecoming, my best friend, Antonio Kaufman, took my first time.
His hands hovered over my hips like he was handling a fragile trophy. “You okay?” he mumbled.
Still, the pain kept me up all night.
I bit back the hurt, my heart overflowing with sweetness.
I thought my long–secret crush had finally blossomed.
But his WhatsApp chat history shattered my heart.
***
The next morning, his iPhone alarm went off.
He turned over and pulled me into his arms, grumbling, “Grace, kill that shit.”
Still groggy, I picked up his phone, accidentally opening his WhatsApp thread with the hockey team.
“Yo AK, you actually screw the library rat? Just cuz Miss Perfect shoots you down, you downgrade to the Walmart version?”
I played the voice message, and Antonio’s lazy tone came through.
“Chill, it’s just Grace. She’s been tailing after me since middle
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school like some desperate groupie… Figured I’d toss her a mercy fuck.”
My brain went numb at his words.
My hands started shaking uncontrollably.
So… the reason why Antonio lured me to the motel yesterday was just that he was upset with the famous ‘Miss Perfect, Madison, for rejecting him.
It was not because he liked me.
At this thought, my heart felt like it was being torn apart.
I pressed hard on my chest, bending over to catch my breath.
Tears flooded out like a broken dam.
I bit my lip hard, crying silently.
The curtains in the motel room were old and worn. So it couldn’t be closed properly.
Now, a bit of daylight was seeping through onto the bedside.
Antonio yanked the scratchy comforter over his bleached tips.
His phone buzzed with a Booking.com alert.
“CONFIRMED: Ocean Vista Penthouse Suite – Champagne Jacuzzi”
At the same time, another WhatsApp message came from his friend.
“$1k/night secured bro! Madison’s gonna ride you harder
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than last year’s playoffs.”
“You’re really going all out for that chick.”
The receipt’s blue light burned my eyes.
A sharp pain shot through my heart, leaving me breathless.
I didn’t remember how I picked up my scattered clothes or how I put them on.
I glanced back at the shabby motel room before leaving.
The passionate scenes with Antonio from last night flashed through my mind.
Now, looking at the used condom on the floor, a strong sense of humiliation washed over me.
I immediately staggered out.
The Kaufman kitchen reeked of burnt Pop–Tarts when I shuffled in. Auntie Linda flipped pancakes, wearing her “Hockey Mom MVP” apron and syrup bottle, poised like a weapon.
“Where’s Tony? Why didn’t he come back with you?” Linda asked.
I took the pancakes and replied in a panic, “Antonio… hung back with the team.”
The lie tasted like expired milk.
“Typical jock bullshit!” Linda slammed the spatula.
“Nelson swore that boy would protect you with his life!”
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I focused on drowning my pancakes in syrup until the plate became a sticky swamp. I forced a smile. “Really, it’s fine. Sarah and I crashed at the Comfort Inn with the girls. Much safer that way.”
Linda’s shoulders relaxed. “Smart cookie. Lord knows what those hockey meatheads get up to. It’s safer for you girls to stay together,” Linda said.
After Linda’s words, I lowered my head and started eating.
The first bite scalded my tongue.
Tears blurred the “World’s Best Graduate” mug they’d bought me, but I didn’t dare to look up.
I was afraid that Linda would see my tear–streaked face.
I swallowed lava.
The screen door banged. Antonio strolled in, his varsity jacket hanging off one shoulder. He sat down opposite me.
When Linda turned to refill the coffee pot, his sneaker nudged my shin under the table.
“Ghosted me quick, huh?”
I froze mid–bite.
The hands that had traced constellations on my bare back last night now drummed a Drake rhythm on the marble
countertop.
When I didn’t respond, he snatched my half–eaten pancake
and started eating.
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It was the same cocky grin he’d used to steal my Halloween candy years ago.
But I knew we could never go back again.
Suddenly, what happened that morning came to my mind.
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