07
I was the last one to walk in.
There were only two seats.
One next to Ethan.
The other, far from him.
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I knew that they had left the seat for me.
Ethan had always made sure that I had a seat
next to him.
Everyone had gotten used to it.
I looked at Ethan, and he looked back at me.
His expression was calm.
As if he didn’t care.
But I noticed his hand shake a little.
Someone asked, “Why aren’t you sitting next
to Ethan?”
I thought about it and made an excuse.
I was clueless before, but now that he had
<
turned me down, I had to be mindful of my
actions.
That wasn’t my seat to take.
Soon, Ashley came and sat next to Ethan.
I watched carefully.
I had eaten a lot, I wasn’t hungry.
Ethan didn’t have much of an appetite.
He hadn’t eaten before coming, which meant
it was me that made him not able to eat.
Ashley sat quietly beside Ethan.
They would talk sometimes.
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I watched for a while and then looked away.
When we were done, Ashley looked at me.
When we were close to each other, she said near my ear, “I heard that you’ve been living with your aunt, no wonder why you’re so unlikeable, you’re hanging around Ethan.”
My body stiffened, looking directly at her.
I had only told Ethan this.
Ashley was about to say something else, when I pushed her away. I was unusually
calm.
“Wanna fight again?”
“Let’s do it.”
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Ashley stopped and took a step back.
Last time, she lost badly.
I turned to Ethan.
“Ethan.
“Come over here, let’s talk.”
This had never affected me, but for a
moment, I had an epiphany.
He looked at me confused.
Ashley wanted to go over as well.
I looked at her. “I was talking to him.
“Why don’t you leave?”
Ethan didn’t defend her.
Finn pulled Ashley to the side and took her to
his car.
When everyone had left, I looked at Ethan.
After a moment, he said, “What do you
want?”
I looked at him. “Do you like Ashley, is that
why you let her stay by your side?”
Ethan frowned, then laughed.
“Does that even matter?
“At least she didn’t pretend to be my friend
<
for six years.
45
That was harsh.
It sounded like he was trying to make me
upset.
I was tired. His actions were all telling me:
look, Liv, you were wrong, you messed
everything up. You ruined the picture that
Ethan had of you.
I said, “So? I’ve left you alone. What more do
you want?”
He was silent for a moment, then said, “You
liking me, isn’t right. What we had was fine.”
“Yeah, I want to go back to what we had.” He
paused. “It shouldn’t be too hard, right?”
<
I felt tired.
Liking someone could happen in a moment.
But giving up on them, how could it be that
easy?
I’d been trying my best to stay away, but now
he was standing in front of me.
He wanted this to be done.
He was upset that I wasn’t in his life, but he
couldn’t give me what I wanted.
So, what he was asking me to do, was to give
- up.
That was the only way that he would be okay,
with being my friend again.
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Was that fair to me?
I looked at him, my hope was finally gone.
“Okay, listen.
“I don’t care about Ashley. Whether you like
her, or if you’re just trying to make me leave.
you alone.
“It’s none of my business.
“I will stop liking you.
“You were really good to me and you treated
me like a friend. So, I’ll agree, we’ll go back
to how we were.
“Just two friends with clear boundaries.”
The wind blew, moving my dress.
His expression relaxed. He looked like he had
solved the problem.
He smiled, maybe.
For some reason, he seemed to be lost.
There were things that he couldn’t grab at
that moment.
No matter how he looks back on it, he can’t
go back.
