Chapter 13
The next day, my mom woke up early and went to the market.
Since she often bought seafood, as soon as she arrived, the vendors enthusiastically promoted their products, saying that today’s shrimp were very big and fresh.
“I guarantee your daughter will love it.”
My mom said blankly, “My daughter is allergic to seafood.”
The vendor looked at her strangely, didn’t say anything, and went to greet other customers.
I watched her walking back and forth in front of several vegetable stalls, carrying a cotton shopping bag in her arm.
She picked up a carrol, then put it back down.
She picked up a green pepper, then put it back down.
Her behavior was really strange.
So much so that the vendor kindly reminded her, “If you could tell me what dish you want to make, I can recommend some vegetables for you.”
I watched her standing there, struggling to remember, her eyes looking lost.
Chapter 13
Suddenly, I understood,
She didn’t know what I liked to eat.
From childhood to adulthood, I never had the privilege of ordering dishes like Vivian, nor was I picky like Joshua.
I had no choice but to eat whatever she made.
Finally, the vendor took out a small bamboo basket from the cabinet below and pushed it toward my mother.
2/6
“These are fresh wild mushrooms from Estremouth that arrived today. Would you like to buy some?”
Estremouth.
Mushroom.
These two words seemed to strike a nerve, and my mother clenched a handful of mushrooms, suddenly bent down, and tears began to fall.
“Willa.”
“Willa.”
Such an affectionate nickname, the number of times she called me that in front of me can be counted on one hand.
But now, I was already dead, so how could I hear it?
Chapter 13
3/6
She didn’t buy anything and returned home with an empty bag.
After sitting for a while, she stood up and called Vivian.
Her tone was very cold, “You haven’t practiced the piano for six months. If you still want it, I’ll have someone deliver it to your house. If
and take don’t want it, I’ll have the scrap collectors come
it away.”
Vivian suddenly burst into tears.
She sobbed and said, “Mom, what are you doing? Just because I’m married doesn’t mean I’m not a daughter of this family anymore. Don’t I deserve to have a room at home?”
“Your bedroom is still there for you.”
My mom said expressionlessly, “I’m going to put Willow’s room back.”
Vivian didn’t say anything.
No one could predict the future.
Before I died, I made that call to her, even though it wouldn’t make her responsible for my death.
But it made her position in this family become very delicate.
My mother moved very quickly.
Chapter 13
The next morning, the music room was completely empty.
4/6
She wandered around the furniture market, trying to find the exact same bed and wardrobe that were thrown away before.
But in the end, she couldn’t find anything that was exactly the
same.
She took out those musty–smelling clothes of mine from the storage room, flattened them out one by one, and hung them in my wardrobe.
There weren’t many of them in total.
Besides, they were all bought when I was in school. Even if I had been alive, I couldn’t wear them anymore.
Then she went out and found a craftsman at a jewelry store to repair the bracelet as much as possible and wore it on her wrist.
My memorial photo was placed in the room, and the first thing my mother did every day after getting up was to go in and clean. it up.
I didn’t understand what she wanted to achieve by doing this.
Compensation?
Or maybe just to make myself feel a little better.
During my lifetime, I desperately longed for her love.
Chapter 13
Even just a little bit would have sufficed.
But I only received it after death.
5/6
I was pacing around the room, feeling irritable and wanting to knock things off the bookshelf and rip off the new sheets and covers she had put on the bed.
I was yelling hurtful things at her, just like we had countless times before during arguments.
Stop pretending, Mom.
You’re just faking that you love me to ease your own guilt.
Do you even believe it yourself?
But I can’t put it into words.
Even if I did, she wouldn’t hear me.
It was the first time I realized how cruel it was to exist as a soul.
When would I be able to dissipate and be reborn?
Or would I forever be trapped in this place that had never been my home, in this form, and watch their happy lives with a cold eye?
Fortunately, the answer came quickly.
